Fashionable People, Questionable Things. | Shoes that make you go hmmmm | Fashionable People, Questionable Things.

L-A: How excited were you guys to see the quickie post from Ally yesterday? I know I was. This blogging solo thing is harder than it looks. And while I love our guest bloggers, I miss Ally.

But this post isn’t about Ally. It’s about shoes that cause me head tilts. Talking about shoes is tricky business. People who like shoes can be passionate about their shoes. And that means I might insult someone’s taste in shoes today. But that’s okay. Because if they really hate me, they can start another blog and complain about my constant wearing of ballet flats and the fact that Doc Martens still tug at my early-90s teen heart strings.

First head tilter is the platform flat. I’ve seen it pop up on Refinery29 and White Lightening and I needed to take a closer look at them (well, as close as the internets will allow). Here is the frontal version of this shoe trend at Calvin Klein’s recent show:

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Not so bad, right? Well let’s look at the side view:

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Oh. It is so bad after all.  Honestly, I really do tilt my head to see if it’ll make them better, but so far, not so much.   Calvin isn’t the only one guilty of these shoes.

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Vivienne Westwood is in on it too. I actually don’t hate the odd little Pegasus wing going on, but I do hate the sole of the shoe. Opening Ceremony is another guilty party:

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The thing is, if they were wedges, I probably wouldn’t hate them as much. But as they are, I find them to look a bit too much on the chunky, uncute, orthopedic side. Speaking of uncute and orthopedic-esque. Another head tilter are these:

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Guess, just guess, who is behind the design on those. And if you guessed your podiatrist, you’re wrong.

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Yeah. That’s right. Chloe Sevigny. She of the granny sandals and socks at Coachella. Not much of a surprise is it? She’s got a line of clothes with Opening Ceremony that aren’t as fugly as you’d suspect, but there is no excuse for those shoes.

And with winter coming sooner than you’d like, I’m going to take a look at some head tilter boots:

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Are they knitted boots? Well, sort of. Opening Ceremony tells me they are woven leather (which starts to explain the $600 price tag). So they’d be slouchy, but not in a “did you attach leg warmers to your boots” kind of way. Even still, they look an awful lot like some knitted sock like things my mom made to go over my skates when we’d be skating outdoors at winterlude. I wanted to scan a pic for you, but alas, I can’t find one. Here is a reasonable facsimile:

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Picture them chunkier and in bright pink and that’s why I’m having trouble getting on board with those knitted leather boots.  And finally, on the subject of the knitted boot:

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Knitted Uggs. Suprisingly, I don’t completely hate them (I usually hate uggs. They look like you’re wearing your slippers outside). They do cause a bit of a head tilt, but they end up looking almost nice once my head is at a 45 degree angle.  I think they’d be completely useless in a mucky, slushy Halifax winter (despite this, you can buy them at Winsby’s…at least I know I’ve seen them in their window at some point).

Oh! and I almost forgot another head tilt! Here it is:

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Newbark. This particular pair is black patent and silver metallic leather. They can roll up into their own bag. Net-a-Porter says they are “achingly hip” and used by models to wear between appointments (or, as Tyra has taught us: go-sees). But you know what they really are? Old man/grandfather slippers. Like these:

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Okay, so in metallic silver they are more like what your grandfather would wear as slippers during the last days of disco, but you get my point. While they are okay looking as slippers, they are a serious head tilt for out of house wear. The fact that they roll up into their own bag for easy transport isn’t enough to sell me on them. Especially at a $300 price tag.

So, agree? disagree? Have nominations for recent shoe trends that cause you to cringe? Or tilt your head to see if they look better at an angle?  If so, please share! We live for your comments! (no, seriously. We do).

(image credits go to: ASVOFF for the Vivienne Westwoods; Style.com for the Calvin Klein; Refinery29 for the Opening Ceremony sandals; Opening Ceremony for all the other shoes they sell)
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4 Responses to Shoes that make you go hmmmm

  1. Jo says:

    Well done! ALL of those shoes are HIDEOUS!! Even the (especially?) the knitted UGGS. I would like someone to eradicate UGGS. Might as well throw Crocs in there while you’re at it. I can’t BELIEVE we are still seeing UGGS. LET IT GO! They were cute for 5 minutes for nine year olds. Move on…

  2. thenewisthetrue says:

    I like the Calvin Klein platform flat, but that’s because I like anything that makes me feel like I’m living in the future. Like Skype.

    I also like the Newbark slippers. Sort of. I would have to see them on, but they do look kind of like something a monk might wear. Minus the silver.

  3. […] distance. I think I look at Ms. Zoe (pronounced Zoh, apparently) with the same kind of head-tilt L-A applied all those shoes. She has to be smart, riding the wave of pseudo-celebrity that also carries some of her clients, in […]

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Fashionable People, Questionable Things.