Fashionable People, Questionable Things. | The sporting life: Dos and Don’ts for the fashionable sports fan | Fashionable People, Questionable Things.

AllyG: Can we talk about how Kate Hudson is bringing it home for the Yankees? She’s the anti-Jessica Simpson. I still feel SO bad for Jess…did you not cringe when she showed up to the Cowboys game in the pink jersey?

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The above photo reminds me of when I was 15 and wore my boyfriend’s basketball jacket all around school. I cringe thinking about it. CRINGE. Like, I’m basically advertising the fact that I had to wear his accomplishments in order to be deemed worthy myself. The difference between Jessica and myself is that she’s an old ass woman (in Hollywood terms) and I was a pimply face teenager. Sweetie, put down the pink jersey with your boyfriends’ number on it. It’s embarrassing all of us. This was the first step towards the eventual dumpage that occured for JSimps. Your boyfriend’s number. In pink. Cringe.

Kate Hudson has fared differently with her bf. First off, her boyfriend is ARod. Dude’s a hunk. I don’t care what you say. He makes Tony Romo (Jessica Simpson’s Ex) look like the little boy from Baywatch who grew up into a massive douche.

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Yah, I know my alignment of the photos sucks but you catch my drift. [L-A: alignment fixed! hooray! Also, misread what Ally wrote and thought that was Tony Romo. It is not. Shows what I know about football.]

*Jul 25 - 00:05*

ARod is a hunk. He’s also well dressed. Clean cut without trying too hard. Trying too hard is this:

[L-A: ummm…some technical difficulties here. I think Ally forgot to put the picture here. Or I deleted it. We’ll fix this ASAP]

Christian Ronaldo

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Fixed! Go Team!

 

So, The Hud is already a step ahead in the boyfriend game, but she brings it home by wearing the ultimate in baseball game attire. Let’s take a look, shall we?

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Now, we all know I love Kate Hudson. I love her style, love her movies, love her everything. I particulary love that she doesn’t give a shit what people think of her. She doesn’t pretend that she doesn’t know you’re watching her. She knows. She knows you’re watching which is why she takes perfect care to look absolutely California tousled. Fabulous accessories (note the beaded bracelet…I want), carefree top, and faded jeans. Perfect.

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Apparently her mother thinks so too which is why she is trying to pull off the exact same look. I always feel bad for mothers who try to take back the years and emulate their daughters. You had your time, Goldie, and you brought it. Your work is done. Your sole job now is to take a long nap to be well rested for cocktail hour.

*Jun 06 - 00:05*

There isn’t much I love more in life than fedoras. I have two fedoras and I can’t recall the last time I wore one. I just can’t pull it off like Kate. Or Cameron. If there was a fedora Olympics, Cameron Diaz would win hands down. Hear that Jessica Biel? YOU SUCK.

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A v. important task for any girlfriend of a major athlete is to make friends with the other players’ wives and girlfriends (known as WAGS in Britain! Love that, non? Wags!). Kate knows how to play the best friend, she plays a girls’ girl in every movie she has ever “acted” in. I mean, did you not love How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days? Don’t answer that L-A.

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So, obviously, Kate knows how to befriend the lady Yanks.

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Is she throwing down a gang sign? I live in the suburbs, clearly I’m not down with these things. Come to think of it, I doubt Kate Hudson would be either. Unless she rolls with a rough crew in the “bu” (that’s Malibu for those not in the know).

I’m not sure I really have a point for this post (yes, I realize I rarely have an effing point) besides that I heart Kate Hudson and her fantastic style. Except for her tie dye shirt.

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I can only conclude that her and ARod had a nasty argument prior to his game and she decided to punish him by raiding her mother’s closet and selecting a shirt that Goldie wore during a particularly bad acid trip in the sixties. DISCLAIMER: I kid! I have no idea if Goldie did acid!

I do however, love the below off-the-shoulder casual top.

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Again, Jessica Simpson could attend a clinic on dressing for sporting events coached by Kate Hudson. Casual, not trying to hard, but completely sexy. In fact, I’m sure I could step it up at home a tad and sass up my pajama outfits aka what I wear in the daytime.

L-A, I challenge you to salvage what is left of this Monday morning post.

L-A: I’m not sure where to go with this. Do I address your love for cheesy K-Hud movies? Or that you approve that last top, which is not so much over the shoulder as it is about to fall down to her waist and completely expose the girls?  Or maybe just go back to the beginning and talk about cheering your boyfriend on in a pink version of his jersey, because you know, you’re a girl and that means you have to wear a pink version?

I’m going to go with the latter and figure out what to wear when you cheer on your pro-athlete boyfriend/favourite sports team (did you know I actually have a favourite sports team? It’s true! I do! I love love love Duke University’s basketball team. But that’s a story for another day).

Talking ladies at sporting events is sort of a timely topic (if we cared about such things as timeliness), as sports teams are doing lame things to woo the ladies, like the LA Dodgers with their “Dodgers’ Women’s Initiative Network” (the acronym? Dodgers WIN. How catchy).  Because nothing makes you want to sit through a sporting event that takes upwards of two days to play like a chance to do some yoga poses out by the pitcher’s mound.  Seriously Dodgers? Either your a baseball fan or you’re not and no amount of yoga is going to make me want to take a nap watch a game at your stadium. Neither is a pink jersey.

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Here’s the assumption I’ve always worked under: if you like a sports team, you like every single frigging thing about them (because how else do you explain devotion to craptacular teams) and that includes the colours. It’s how you show off your love of the team. Like gang colours, only dorkier/jockier.  And unlike poor Jess, you should not think that pink is a substitute team colour. You just wear your team’s colours. At least I do would. Now, when I say you should avoid the pink version of your boyfriend/team’s jersey, I don’t mean you should go with this either:

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I apologize if that gives you nightmares tonight. There is nothing okay about that. Nothing. (and that was one of the few safe for work photos I got when I did a google image search for “puck bunny”. Tread with caution when you google that. Most of them were smutty. Or involved actual bunnies and were therefore not related to the topic).

Maybe just wear a hat when you feel the need to support your team:

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(Disclaimer: I kind of want a Dodgers hat…but only because it has my name on it. I do not want it in pink. But I would probably never wear it because let’s face it, I never wear baseball caps).

On second thought, that hat isn’t doing Camilla Belle any favours (who the hell is Camilla Belle anyway? Is she famous for something? Or just for being pretty and dating a Jonas bro? Because I believe she does date the furry one with the caterpillar-esque eyebrows).  Neither is the sunglasses on her date (I can’t be bothered to learn the Jonas bro names). When I said wear team colours, I mean that it should be done within reason. But she otherwise was taking a page from Kate Hudson’s playbook, so, well-played Camilla Belle:

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And holy crap! Forget those Disney kids!

(Um, Dude….these two totally broke up. Like, last month. Did you miss the memo when Joe Jonas totally cried at one of his concerts and had his brother Kevin call Camilla the next day to tell her how desperately Joe loved her? C’est true. It’s totally karma after how he dumped Taylor via a 40 second phone call. LOOK WHO’S LAUGHING NOW JOE JONAS. Actually, I’ve always laughed at your shitty music. Always. In fact, I’m laughing now! HAHAHAHAHAHHA)

Stop the presses!

Sorry to derail my somewhat coherent thoughts for this post. I had these plans to talk about footballer wives, including the mother of all footballer wives – Posh – but then! then I accidentally discovered that Alyssa Milano has designed LA Dodgers apparel for the ladies. Not only does it kind of fit, but it also mixes in one of my favourite things to hate: celebrity designers! Yes! Check this shit out:

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I am dying. DYING. Although, maybe I could wear some of them like a sporty version of Laverne:

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In Alyssa’s defense, she did stick to the Dodger’s colours (no pink!) and she is a fan of the team (she has a Dodgers blog).  My “favourite” of her designs?

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ahahahaha.

Classy.

I’m no Kate Hudson fan, but I think if you are going to be hanging out at sporting events, try  sporting something (pun intended!) along the lines of her outfits. Don’t do your boyfriend’s number in pink. Don’t do skanky puck bunny. And don’t do the off the shoulder or shrunken satin jacket Alyssa Milano look either.

One Response to The sporting life: Dos and Don’ts for the fashionable sports fan

  1. Kim says:

    She has designed an NFL line of clothing as well. You can be the proud our of one of her pieces no matter which NFL team you cheer for!

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Fashionable People, Questionable Things.