Ally: It’s Friday? Wow. That must be why I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. This vacation couldn’t come at a better time. Just a reminder that there’ll be some guest bloggers helping out over the next two weeks while I marinate in boxed wine and revisit the world of fashion. Let’s face it, my posts lately have been less than inspired. I barely have time to brush my hair these days. Barely meaning I do it like, three times a week.
I did have time this evening to catch up on celebrity gossip. The best way to unwind. Some of the news I reviewed was days old. But it pleased me. It pleased me good. First up? The rumour that Leo might have given Blake her walking papers.
The best part (and I know I’m being a cold hearted bitch) is that Leo dumped her because his mom wasn’t into the plastic shizz that is Leggy McMumbles (or whatever L-A calls The Lively). You know who she did like? Bar Raefaeli. Just sayin’
While I wish no one any unhappiness (that’s not true…I wish Lindsay Lohan unhappiness – see next item), I have to say that I need this break up to be real for my own Pretend Boyfriend sanity. The joke that was Eminem replacing Leo has become a bit too true. He’s the Coyote Ugly of boyfriends. You know? Defined by the classic movie of the same name? The kind of guy that when you wake up, look over at who’s next to you and realize that you want to chew your arm off coyote style to get him off your shoulder? That type of Pretend Boyfriend. I will say this, I have no idea how the following video didn’t go “viral” or whatever the young people are calling it these days.
Swooooooooon. See? I need Leo back. It was much safer territory. He never rapped about lighting the house on fire while his lady friend was still sleeping in the bed.
Next up, Lindsay Lohan. Everyone’s talking about her Groundhog Day like trips to Court. I’m talking about her Groundhog Day like trips down shitty-bad-fashion-lane.
As I mentioned earlier this week, I was slowly wading back into maxi dress territory. Lohan just threw a grenade on that progress. Those shoes? Am I a senior citizen or is that not just plain old school ugly? Apparently, Lohan can’t afford her court ordered psychological assessment. Fine, I hear that. Chick has been broke since Mean Girls, but how much does a bra run at Walmart? $10 in the clearance bin? Perhaps we can pool our funds and send one along.
Let’s go right to the Crappy Pop Video of the Week, shall we? This was has been getting serious air time at Allison Garber Communications. Meaning, I’m playing it lots on my laptop.
L-A: Hey Friday! I thought you were happening yesterday morning, but it turned out it was only Thursday. A bit of let down really. But whatevs, you’re here now and that’s all that matters. Let’s talk favourites.
1. hair did: I was in desperate need of a cut. Like, shock the hairdresser how long it had gotten. But it is cut now and I feel so much cuter. And as always, mad props to Krista at Fred. If she ever gives up the hairdressing game, I will be LOST.
2. I did it. I joined Weight Watchers. And I was not a little bit shocked at how many points I wasted on eating Werther’s (but they are so tasty!). Operation: Fit Back Into Your Favourite Work Pants is ON (I mean, fuck pounds. I don’t care about those as much as I do about the Michael Kors and Banana Republic pants in my closet. They fit before, they’ll fit again).
3. Summer of Murray.
Well played, Atlantic Film Festival. Well played. He’ll never be a pretend boyfriend, but I do love Ghostbusters (first stop on my first trip to NYC? The Public Library). And Groundhog Day would be one of my top ten movies if it didn’t star Andie MacDowell (and that is a post for next week).
4. Beyond the Rack.
When Ally sent me the email with the subject COOKIE JEANS! I hmmed and hawed and then said to myself: You love those jeans. You almost literally wore them out. You cannot afford to spend $175 on them again, but you can afford $29.99 plus shipping and taxes.
And I was right. I could and I did and hot damn! I’m excited for those jeans to arrive (if I hadn’t just bought an Arcade Fire ticket off a friend, I might have bought a second pair). They are LITERALLY the best jeans I have ever owned in my entire 33 years. They looked good and they were crazy comfortable. They even kick the ass of the white jeans with a blue pinstripe that I got from Thrifty’s in grade six. And let me tell you, I thought those were seriously stylin’ jeans back in the day.
I can only hope they do this again and I get another COOKIE JEANS email from Ally.
Forget Christmas, this is Boxing Day in July. 50% off everything, one day only. And for you size 10 ladies in Halifax: please, try to leave a few pairs of shoes for me. I’m hoping to help out the work wardrobe on Saturday or maybe even find a dress to wear to fall weddings.
5. Okay, he’s kind of a Baldwin.
Last week I was thinking about it, but despite the sometimes questionable facial hair, I’ve decided to bump Grey Damon/Hastings Ruckle/Brian up to full Pretend Boyfriend status. This week’s episode where he’s all, “I love you girl who is secretly part cat and I can’t be Just A Friend” and then she breaks his heart because kissing him would kill him (I mentioned the plot is a wee bit ludicrous, right?). The swoon, boys and girls! The swoon of it all! You can kind of pin point the second where his character’s heart rips in half. (warning: the last three links are videos. I couldn’t help myself. I’m on a serious YouTube kick this week).
Is it weird that I’ve been admiring my eyelashes all week? Because if I don’t, no one else will. It’s not like anyone ever complements you on great lashes.
7. The other blog I write for is hiring! Yes, if you think you’re funny and you like watching TV as much as I do and you want to write alongside the likes of Jill and Anthony and I, then maybe you want to talk to Jen at YKYLF.
8. Pet Sounds. Particularly this song, on repeat.
I have Mel to thank for that.
And on a final note, but not a favourite because this is a more serious item. A friend asked if we could share with you a link to Unicef and we’re happy to do so, because shit just got real over there. Like, possibly worse than the famine I remember happening in Ethiopia when I was a kid. So if you can donate, that’d be awesome. If you can’t, pass the word on to friends and family.