Fashionable People, Questionable Things. | Unreasonable Anxiety: Coachella style | Fashionable People, Questionable Things.

L-A: Unreasonable Anxiety is the name of a blog I’m going to one day start with my friend Ellie. Because we both have unreasonable anxiety about EVERYTHING. I won’t go into the detailed list (otherwise, why start another blog?), but suffice to say, it’s long and often ridiculous and now includes: anxiety about what to wear to Coachella.

Why the anxiety? Because of emails like this:

There are moccasins involved y’all! And they are suggesting I should wear a kimono. In public. And macrame!

You guys know how I dress. And that isn’t it. Not even a little bit.

And when I look to other fashion blogs for inspiration, there are posts with titles like Navajo Style. And bohemian colourblock. Or inner hippie. Not saying these bloggers have it wrong, just saying that I do not have an inner hippie. I’m pretty much anti-the-boho when it comes to my own style.

And the celebrities don’t help either. Like Sienna effing Miller (I should edit that if I want Ally to buy me a coffee tomorrow).

Where are her pants?!?

 

Oh, you think that’s something? Well how about this?

Again without the pants.

You are no help Sienna Miller. And if I see you at weekend two, I’m taking you to Marshall’s and buying you some slacks. (admission: I found one of those photos by googling “boho style bullshit”).

Classier pants-wearing celebrities are no help either. Even if they do wear the nautical like I do.

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Not a lot of help. Not for lack of cuteness (although, I don’t wear shorts. No matter how cute), but for the amount of light colours. I feel like I’d look like a dust bunny by the end of day. I can’t afford VIP area tickets like Dita, which I assume look something like this:

You can totally wear white shorts and sky high wedges when you’ve got this joint to visit for breaks. (seriously. I do think this is what a VIP area looks like. Complete with nubile young folks waving fans made from expensive feathers).

So, I’m going to ask you guys: what the heck should I wear? I need three outfits that are suitable for dry, hot weather (most likely getting up to 30+ celsius. I’m not exactly sure, because whenever I visit, the weather folks refuse to announce temperatures in anything but fahrenheit) with not a lot of breaks from said dry, hot, sunny weather (I do know how to pack for the Coachella Valley in April…but my days usually include pools, air conditioned shopping, or patios with handy misters and giant frozen tequila based beverages). I think I’ll get a pair of Ray Bans and a tattoo before I go though.

Ally: I’m not even going to Coachella (I know, right), and I’m feeling anxious about L-A’s wardrobe. I’ve offered to take her shopping to find suitable Coachella clothing, but she keeps finding excuses to avoid these excursions. Maybe because this shit is on my Pinterest page?

An exception to the "leggings as pants" rule?

Loyal readers will no doubt know that L-A and I differ in our clothing selections, although she has been wearing leggings to the office lately and I have been rocking more than one nautical stripe outfit. We’ve clearly been spending too much time together.

L-A recently mused that we’d be the perfect hybrid for Coachella. I could wear the festival attire and file my nails while L-A enjoyed the hipster music while wearing her anchor necklaces (she has like…more than one of these). I don’t want to try to make her into Whitney from The Hills – ok, I sort of do, but only because we could have musical montages like this in our open-concept cubicles:

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Back to my point, that I swear I had, I want L-A to do Coachella as L-A. So, I’m suggesting a few swagger items that will perhaps inspire her already fabulous style.

Why the headband? Oh, I don't know...PERFECT TO HOLD MINI BOOZE BOTTLES? Brillz.

I think she could rock this. Really. We might need to practice a few times before she departs in case she has a misstep and ends up looking more like this:

Which is also jaunty!

All eyes on me! The more I think of it, this could be perfect for the Dr. Dre segment at Coachella. A wee homage to Tupac if you will. Speaking of the Dre bit, rumour has it Eminem is showing. L-A has promised to bring him home with her in a brand new Kate Spade bag. Awww. Besties!

I’m feeling really good about this advice so far. I mentioned on Twitter today that I’m really into the floral trend for Spring 2012, and I’m not being sarcastic. I found a gorgeous J.Crew number that would be comfortable for repeated walks to the beer tent and port-a-potties!

And pockets too!

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Keeping with L-A’s love for the high-seas, I thought we could give her a little cap to trot around in. What better inspiration than Dita?

We might need to get her a little drunk to wear this, but that shouldn't be a tough assignment.

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A funny add-on, do you know that there is a “stupid hats at Coachella” blog? Even Jay-Z made it.

That is a really stupid hat.

I think this is fairly good advice up in here. If anyone from Vogue or Marie Claire wish to get in touch with me to seek my employment as a features editor, please note such in the comments section. I’ll be waiting.

L-A: Holy crap! How did it take two weeks for us to realize we are totes Whitney and LC at work these days?! (I can’t decide who is the Whitney to the other’s Lauren). On another note, I will take your Coachella suggestions into consideration, mostly likely filing some of them under “crazy things Ally suggests I do”.

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11 Responses to Unreasonable Anxiety: Coachella style

  1. Crystin says:

    haha…hilarious post. I’m glad my title made it in, even if it’s being made fun of (I think?) lol. I love the picture of tupac.

    • la says:

      Not making fun of you at all! Ally’s style is 100% inner hippie getting let out. Mine is… preppy hipster sailor? (I have no idea. I just know I own a lot of nautical stripes).

    • allygarbs says:

      Word. I’m completely down with inner hippie.

  2. Danielle says:

    I’ve never been to Coachella, but I have been to the area a few times, and I would recommend a wide brimmed hat, loose sundresses for daytime. It does get super hot in the desert, and there’s not a lot of shade.

    It can get pretty chilly at night though, so bring a jacket.

  3. I can totes guest post for an Unreasonable Anxiety blog. Also, I can’t give advice on what to wear to Coachella because we all know I’d say light floral dress + boots, as that is all I wear. I’d add a hat since I get heat stroke in Banana Republic outlets.

  4. I share your Unreasonable Anxiety about what to wear in Paris while only carrying carry-on. Dudesses, I have a chart, for crying out loud.

    Here’s what you do. For hats, go to Wildflower, there’s a lovely selection of sharp straw fedora-style hats from Delux. Reasonably priced, can’t be beat. DO IT.

    For tops, do as your Intern does and buy a cheap t-shirt from H&M (7 bones) and print out iron-on t-shirt transfers of French Canadian pulp novels from the days of yore. Go here . I made one of “Trois coupables possibles” and it is unspeakably cool.

    Get a scarf, obviously.

    As for the bottom half, do not go pantless. Those girls must not have parents.

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