Ally: It’s never good to start a post realizing that you are going to be scrounging for witticisms like Lohan is scrounging for change in her bargain basement purse (See? Horrible). I don’t operate well when I’m tired. Some (my husband) might say I’m a massive bitch when I’m tired. I’m tired today, people. But I’m 100% committed to sharing with you my horrible taste in all things pop culture regardless of lack of sleep. I shall soldier on!
L-A and I had a brief email exchange today around what we were going to deliver for our Wednesday post. As L-A was a tad
hungover “under the weather” today, she was also fighting for inspiration. What about a Random Style Icon post, suggested L-A, those are fairly easy to write she noted. Yes, true. Three more emails were sent back and forth trying to find a show we both watched. Nothing. We then tried to find a show we might have both watched as teenagers. The only thing we found?
I always wanted to be Felicity. She was fierce in her petticoats. L-A agrees,
We totes need to do some Felicity from Road to Avonlea. Bitch started to get some mad steez after she set her sights on Gus Pike.
And so it shall be. In the future though, as today we are reviewing the Met Ball
train wrecks fashions. After looking through a few photos, I was less than inspired to continue the hunt. I turned to Official Intern Krista on The Twitter and asked for her help. Britney Spears bless her heart, she came through. But first here are my top faves and my “wtf” award.
Ally Fave #1: Coco Rocha
First things first, the Met Ball means you can up the crazy. It’s the Carrie Bradshaw of Dressy Events. Therefore I will be approving of otherwise ridiculous outfits, such as the one seen above on Coco. Apparently this Givenchy number was worn by Elizabeth Taylor. I can’t find a photo so you’ll have to trust my infinite wisdom. Bonus points for the hair, Coco! For the record, Krista agrees with this choice.
Ally Fave #2: Gwyneth Paltrow
I know without a doubt that L-A will hate this dress. WITH.OUT.A.DOUBT.
Look, the lady eats only carrot sticks and grilled chicken (or so I read on the irresponsible gossip blogs), so let her show it off in some Prada. She looks amazing.
(L-A: Shockingly, I do not hate this).
Ally Fave # 3: Scar-Jo
Throughout the history of time women have been dressing to make other bitches jealous. Blake Lively? Pick up the phone.
Krista filed this under “on the fence” stating, “I don’t get these dresses that are like two fundamentally different dresses put together by a blind person.”
Ally’s “WTF You’re a Supermodel” Award: Gisele Bundchen
I don’t know. I mean, I’m not a supermodel, but if I were I would hope that I would try a bit harder here (see Gwyneth above). This is phoning it in. I know what phoning it in is, friends. I do it all the time here on the blog and this is phoning it in.
It’s the dress equivalent of a sleep aid.
I’m losing steam here, Krista?
Krista: The annual Met Gala means one thing: dress porn! Better news, it’s porn you can look at on your work computer! I love this event for the singularity of its focus: pretty dresses. This is Anna Wintour’s party, and she personally approves the guest list. Every person in attendance is CHOSEN by Anna. That is amazing to me, I will never be chosen by Anna.
Krista’s Winner: Shailene Woodley.
Krista’s Winner: Jessica Biel.
I KNOW. I can’t believe I’m saying it either. Hear me out. I like the overall style, the length, and the beaded pattern. If the hem wasn’t such a clusterbleep, this could have been closer to #1.
Krista’s “On the fence” Award: Kristen Stewart.
We get it, you’re edgy. Boring.
Krista’s “On the fence” Award: January Jones.
We get it, you’re edgy because, otherwise, you’re boring.
(L-A: I believe this is January reminding us that she is not actually fat. She’s also attempting to show us she can smile. and do more than a bitchface Nice try, JJ).
L-A: The real trouble with this event is there is too much to talk about. So many amazing dresses. So many crazy dresses (which I will focus on). So many unanswered questions, like: Who brought Renee Zellweger out of hiding? Why were the Jonas Bros there? Why does Kristen Wiig look so cute on this red carpet, but not on others? Why did Marc Jacobs wear a sheer floor length lace button up? And what the hell is going on with Donatella Versace’s face?
Alexa Chung Attempts Day to Night Barbie.
And fails. Hard.
Lady Mary is lovely in real life.
Not sure about the gloves, but I otherwise dig the chest armor.
Channeling her character Effie Trinket maybe
It is a costume institute, so I’m going to give Elizabeth Banks a pass for this. She’s not really channeling Effie (not enough jewel tones), but it is crazytown in the form of a dress.
Mary Kate! What has happened to you?!?
I’m not a giant Olsen fan, but something really weird is going down with Mary Kate’s face. The dress from her own label isn’t doing her any favours either.
Lady, I don’t know who you are, but you frighten me.
Maybe it’s the angle of the angle of the photo, but that hip bone is scary stuff.
She needs to cover that up before she pokes a short man in the eye. Alber Elbaz is probably glad he wears glasses.
Emma Stone, you are too damn adorable.
I will probably watch Spiderman because she is that much adorable (as is Andrew Garfield. So that’s another reason to see a movie about a super hero I have no investment in).
Anna Wintour, that fish cray.
Literally. I think my hair hero has a cray fish on her dress.