L-A: Remember this ad?
Apparently the difference was price. Price is the difference. I mean, why pay more if it’s not going to make your twins look any smarter as they fool themselves into thinking this grocery store modelling gig is going to get them somewhere?
And why pay more for a sweater you’re probably only going to get one season out of?
Because let’s face it, unless you’re super fastidious about storing your clothing (I am not. It’s shameful) or you’re the type to hardly ever wear your favourite new sweater, lest you hitch it on something or spill coffee on it (again, I am not. Less shameful) or you’re against dry cleaning bills (I am not. But I never make it home in time to get to the dry cleaner while it’s open), you’re sweater is going to look way less awesome than the day you first tried it on. It will stretch. It will stain. It will fade. It will catch. It will tear. It will irreversibly wrinkle. It will do all of the above. And you’re stuck with a sweater you can barely give away, let alone offer it up at a garage sale or a consignment store.
Which is why I’m going to help you out.
L-A’s Guide to Cute Sweaters on the Cheap
As I am paying for two rents and just short of a kickstarter campaign to pay for vet bills and wine (the wine is for me, not the cat), the following two sweaters, no matter how cute they are, are not in the cards.
Exhibit A. J.Crew ($90)
Now, if you’re prepared to throw down $300 for a sequined polka dot sweater, then I say all the more power to you. I’m not going to judge. And I won’t judge on the adorbs merino either. But there ain’t no way I can afford either. Which is okay because I have found the solution in one easy sweater. Meet my new favourite sweater:
Okay, so it’s not the same colours as J.Crew. The grey/pink or navy/red combo doesn’t have quite the same adorableness as the teal/pink, so technically, you can tell the difference. However, as I saved $70 by shopping Old Navy.
And what about the sequined polka dots? Well, meet the exact same sweater style…in polka dots!
Now, I know it isn’t technically a sequined polka dot sweater. This is where you need to get all PS I Made This on your sweater’s ass. Here’s what you do: buy the sweater, head on over to Michael’s Crafts, get yourself a shitload of black sequins, some black thread and a needle, and get sewing. Even after you purchase all the supplies, you’re still in about $290.
I actually thought about doing this, but I realized two things would happen:
1. I’d get bored and stop half way through, leaving me with either an unwearable half-sequined sweater or what could be classified as a bold statement in fashion, since it’s only half-sequined.
2. That I’d actually finish and ask myself, “where the hell do you wear a sequined polka dot sweater?” and not have a reasonable answer, leaving me with a bedazzled Old Navy sweater I never wear.
But if you’ve got some stick-to-itiveness and enough sewing skills to sew a button on, then fill your boots! (and send me a picture). This is classy bedazzling and y’all need to embrace that. (I’m going to advise against glueing on your sequins. Sure it’s easier and faster, but how do you explain the sequin that just fell into your drink and the one that fell into the middle of the hors d’oeurves?).