L-A: I bet you thought this was going to be a post by Ally. She’s going to be super cheesed off that I thought of this without her. Although, it is totally inspired by her crappy Country jam on Friday:
Because as I skimmed through the video, the one thing I noticed right away is the lady in this video is dressed like every lady who ever starred in a country music video.
Basically it’s a floral sundress and cowboy boots – but I thought I’d explore a little further. Just in case it’s your dream to play the leading lady in a country music video story (because they all have some kind of Story). Or at least look like you are.*
*also handy if you want to look like Tim Riggins is your boyfriend. Or, I’m just guessing here, like an extra on that new show Nashville.
FPQT Guide to Dressing Like the Star of Country Music Video
1. Think Great Depression, only classier and with better hair.
You want to look like the Vogue photoshoot that was inspired by a Dorothea Lange photo. And if that doesn’t already exist: call me, Anna Wintour. I will art direct the hell out of that shit. The models will still look slightly sad and they’ll pose in dry, barren fields, but the dresses will cost enough to have bought out most of Oklahoma during the Depression.
The director of Taylor Swift’s video for Mean is proof positive that I’m on to something here.
2. Really Frigging Naturally Good Hair
It’s That Hair. The one that looks like you’re not trying. The “Oh this? I just got out of bed and went for a walk across my acres of land with a gentle breeze blowing and then for a drive in the old truck with the windows down.” look. Which is basically impossible. Because let me tell you, just out of bed or driving with the windows down? Probably not doing any of us favours. Amazeballs highlights that look like you spend lots of time outdoors in the natural sunshine are also required.
3. If floral isn’t your jam. Back away now.
Because that’s where we’re at. You’re about to move into a Taylor Swift video, so you’ll want to embrace florals as much as possible. And it should be flowy fabrics and short.
When in doubt, know that Urban Outfitters and Free People are your best friends. They’ve been picking up what we’re throwing down for some time now. When the weather is a bit too chilly for the light fabric of your florals, pair it with a well worn denim jacket.
These floral dresses will make help you look your best when you’re hanging out in a truck that is no younger than 25 years old. If you don’t believe me about this because you don’t watch country music videos (which is fair. I don’t either), then an episode of Friday Night Lights will also prove this to be true.
4. You Best Be Wearing Cowboy Boots
Other boots are accepted, particularly a pair of Frye’s, but cowboy boots are the preferred boot to go with your dress.
5. If you’re going to do pants, you’ll need plaid
This is the only other accepted pattern. Like the lady from Ally’s crappy video:
This one is a bit harder – I’ve been looking for some good plaid lately and haven’t found it. However, Free People delivers again. They appear to be the best friend of anyone who wants to look like they belong in a country video.
6.Your truck – or your boyfriend’s truck – should be really effing old.
7 . Soft, golden light surrounding you at all times.
I’m sorry friends, but this where we separate the wheat from the chaff.
If you can’t afford to have someone follow you around and make sure you are bathed in a beautiful, golden, country music light at all times, I recommend you only leave the house at sunset during late-August to October. If this isn’t possible, you may want to consider a different look.
Ally: I had emailed L-A early in the day on Sunday to ask her to start a post. Saturday was Toddler G’s birthday, and I knew that Sunday was gonna be a lot of me laying on my couch recovering avoiding my home office like the plague. She sent me a note last evening (NEAR MY BEDTIME I SAY IN KANYE CAPS) alerting me to the fact that she was currently driving a knife through my country-music-loving heart.
L-A writing about country music fashion? On this blog, Ally is the conductor of the express train to Nashville, so I ask my co-passenger politely, “Bitch? Where do you get off?”
Now, as I sit at my desk at 7:50am with a long list of work related items in front of me, I do not feel that I have the appropriate time to share my lifetime of knowledge on country music fashion. So let’s just all walk away with the certainty that there will be a Part Two. Please note in your little scribblys that I will also be dissecting the hotness of L-A’s Pretend Boyfriends all up in here like a French figure skating judge the next time she decides to sun herself in California with limited access to what we call THE INTERNETS.
P.S. Let me give you some parting words of advice, L-A. You cannot write a thoughtful post on country music fashion without referencing Rascal Flatts. Fact.
Jean shorts? Heard of ‘em?
(Oh! Is that a GIF from Downton Abbey? CUTS DEEP DOESN’T IT).
Apparently I’m should spend the next two days researching the fashion of sadface-hipster-music-lets-all-hold-hands-and-crrrrrryyyyy if we’re going to keep doing this Freaky Friday bullshit.
Crappy Pop Video of the Week
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