Ally: This weekend marked L-A’s birthday. I can only hope it involved carrying around a box of wine with a twirly straw while wearing nautical stripes. This is actually what I picture L-A doing all the time in the big city of Halifax. I’m going to go all out this year and treat L-A to a birthday lunch of sushi (veggie for me…boo), but I also thought I’d make her a mix CD (it’s a concept at this point, but I’m rolling with it).
We all know that my music taste and L-A’s music taste rarely lines up. As in it never lines up. I never fail to leave an asshole comment on her Facebook page when it shows up what she’s listening to on Rdio. I wanted to be a good friend and make her something that was high-klassy, so I thought WWGPD (What would Gwyneth Paltrow do)? Then I thought, “Fuck if I know”. The result is a combination of what I believe to be high-klassy music with some hip-hop/country that she can pretend is supposed to be ironic. I know this last sentence didn’t make sense and I don’t care none.Here is a sampling of my Birthday CD of Love for L-A.
Jackson - Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash
One of my favourite memories is singing this song on stage with one of my best friend’s wedding band. Who cares if I really only knew the chorus? I was amazing. One of the greatest songs of all time in my opinion.It’s too bad about June’s hair and outfit, but mad respect for their passion or whatever.
Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd (That can’t be spelled correctly, can it?)
This song might be the only thing to make my heart and mind sit completely still for an entire five minutes. I swear the lyrics act like a musical therapist.Whenever L-A needs a pick-me-up, she can listen to this and pretend that I am there nodding my head real slow like while waving a glass of wine back and forth.
Daddy’s Lambo – Yelawolf
Please, as if I wouldn’t put Yelawolf on L-A’s mix CD. If only for her to roll her eyes. smile, and say, “That Ally, SO precocious!”
Across the Universe – Fiona Apple
Back in the day, when a boy who was perhaps more musically educated came to visit my studio apartment, I would search frantically for “cool music”. This was one of my go-to songs. I include it so that L-A can laugh at me and know that she has way more street cred.
Tipsy – J-Kwon
L-A has a way better social life that I do. This is why this song is perhaps more important for her to have on her stereo than on mine. It doesn’t have the same effect when you blare this on a Friday night in the suburbs after pouring a large glass of pinot grigio. Your husband looks at you like you’re a freak. Trust me on this. So, I pass this on to L-A, my bar star.
Walkin’ After Midnight – Patsy Cline
I’m cracking up as I picture L-A playing this CD during a dinner party. Please, J-Kwon rolling into Patsy Cline? YES. Patsy reminds me of driving my grandmother and her rye and water around our cottage property in her turquoise K-car when I was 14 years old. Yes, you read that correctly. I feel L-A would appreciate this story.
Now, I wouldn’t be offended if L-A tossed my CD right in the trash, but I want her to have gifts…which is why I asked our friends Krista and Jill to step in and give me a hand.
I “shopped” local for L-A’s birthday, so naturally I went straight to Biscuit General Store’s Facebook page. I’d get her some cool gifts, like those letterpress magnets and nautical themed mugs.
I’d stick with the nautical theme and get her that very charming sweater, and of course I’d have to add to the arm party and pick up one of those colorful watches. In fact, since this is a fantasy, I could get her *all* the watches.
Because she likes cats and tiaras, I would also timeshare this white kitten with her.
Happy Birthday, L-A!
I’m pretty sure I got her a boat last year, so I thought that might be hard to top. Since L-A is a busy working lady, I’d like to gift her with a proper working lady wardrobe. No crazy shopping movie montage, no time-consuming week of shopping in NYC. It’s the internet, so we can do much better than that. My gift to her is the service of one Janie Bryant, costume designer for Mad Men. If they become best buddies, maybe Janie will even “lose” a few of the more awesome pieces from the Mad Men closet.
Do you see anything you like here, L-A?
Ally: We love you, L-A! Happy Birthday, dollface!!
Crappy Pop Music Video of the Week
- Please @LaineyGossip, we're begging you. Tell us your thoughts on Mariah's latest video. What would @Eminem think?! ow.ly/kUkzF 2 weeks ago
- Sometimes, shopping gives us feelings. @miggitymel has a few when she hits the mall in search of a basic black flat. bit.ly/16ioXvI 2 weeks ago
- Friday Favourites are hair dids, cheap shoes, feelings in gifs, and feminsim + Beyonce: bit.ly/10406sL 3 weeks ago
- Bus driver has on studded belt, bejeweled headband and bedazzled cuff. Why the hell not. #metrotransitfashionreport 3 weeks ago
- I'm so sad @AllyGarbs isn't here for smart lady gossip talk about motherhood at @LaineyGossip. #rumorestimmortalis /la 1 month ago