Fashionable People, Questionable Things - Part 3

LA: So, I get it. Nautical stripes are a thing we’re all addicted to. But I think I’ve reached maximum stripe you guys. It’s isn’t just the tops anymore. And I’m pushing my matchy-ness into early-Betty Draper coordinates. Get me a pillbox hat y’all, because I’m coordinated like you don’t even know and it is all stripes.

I made a New Year’s resolution to wear other patterns. And I swear I tried to buy others (there is a cute bird print t-shirt in my closet), but the universe makes it hard. Which is why this has happened.

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(Coat: Ann Taylor; Shirt: random Marshall’s find; Necklace: super cute gift from a friend)

Not pictured is the striped headband. Although, in my defense, I did refrain from wearing the striped ballet flats. Because I wouldn’t want to overdo it. But then a few weeks later, I totally overdid it with these beauties.

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(Shoes: Nautica, found at Marshall’s; Cat fur, Hastings the cat – this is why Drake brings a roller to games)

While it might be a little too much, I figure I may as well just lean on in to my obsession for as long as I can. Because one day, mark my word, there will be no striped shirts. I know I’ve probably predicted this at least twice before (I have never claimed any psychic powers. Although I really wish I could), but if stripes were a commodity on the stock market (futures? Is that what it’s called? No idea), I’d start to bet against them at some point. Especially since I’ve recently seen some horrendous nautical stripes coming out of Northern Reflections. I mean, sure, a boat neck nautical stripe is all classic and shit, but if you’ve seen photos from the 80s and 90s, then you know there are periods in fashion history where people give zero fucks about what is classic/classy. Until then, I am going Sheryl Sandberg on my love of stripes.

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(bracelets: Kate Spade; Tiffany & Co)

(Did I mention my work notebook is striped as well? Like I said. I’m leaning in).

L-A: To be honest, I’m not sure which Jenner is which (I’m still iffy on 75% of the Kardashians as well) and this is just one of the many signs I’m Of A Certain Age. Because I have concerns about this dress. Because you guys, WHERE ARE HER UNDERWEAR?

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Is she wearing any? If so, what kind of cut would they have to be? Are they somehow attached to a belt around her waist? And if she’s not wearing any, is she concerned of a major wardrobe malfunction? How much tape is involved? And does that tape hurt? Worth the pain I suppose, because that’s a lot of people to accidentally show your hoo-haw off to.  Also, if she is commando, is she cold? Because I feel like it wasn’t that warm in Toronto yesterday evening (at least it wasn’t that warm about two hours outside of Toronto).

Like I said, I have concerns. Not so much moral concerns (hey, if commando is your thing, then you do you. I’m not joining the commenters on CTV’s Facebook page who are wringing their hands and wondering where we went wrong with our youth. They probably blame the Kardashians, and in a rare moment, they are correct – this is 100% the fault of a Kardashian. Or like 50% Kardashian-ex/50% Jenner). No, my concerns are all logistical.

On the other hand, she has done the seemingly impossible: made the dress on the right look like a conservative prom dress from rural Utah (sorry to any readers from rural Utah who are into sequins and sexy, short dresses). The dress on the right is a totally a figure-skater inspired micro mini (even the nude shoes make me think of tan figure skates) and makes Jenner on the right look like she’s about to head into the long program to compete. But next to the Jenner who is Most Likely to Go Commando at an awards ceremony, I’m not even noticing that one of them is wearing Tara Lipinski’s old skating outfits. So that’s a win for at least one of the Jenners.

Finally, can we put the Angelina Jolie Red Carpet Leg to rest? There must be a better way to show off your shoes and all the lunges you’ve done at the gym. Maybe try a shorter dress if showing off your leg is a priority. 

(Having said all this, if I wasn’t so concerned for the logistics of it all, I probably would be on board with this dress existing. I currently need it to justify it’s existence).

L-A: It’s kind of hard to believe, but it’s almost been a year since I totally uprooted my life and moved half way across the country. That also means it’s almost been a year since Ally had baby numero 2. It’s been quite a year. Here’s hoping the next one involves more blog posts and less apologies from us. In the spirit of that, let’s talk things I’m loving this week, which is mostly movies. Because summer is all about the following for me: movies, mojitos (or drinks of that variety) and twizzlers. I really wish there was a way to alliterate that.

Movie Number 1: Because everyone in this is amazing

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I’m not one for all-star casts, mostly because of those dumb giant ensemble movies (“Valentines Day” “New Years Eve” “Pancake Day…okay last one isn’t a movie, but should be. I may need to learn to write movies).  But this? This I believe I can get on board with. I mean, it stars just about everyone who is awesome, including Connie Britton’s hair.

Movie Number 2: Because you know what? I miss Rom-Coms.

What happened to Rom-Coms you guys? I loved them. I really did. I think that time they paired Katherine Heigl with Gerard Butler, they broke Rom-Coms. Not Heigls fault. Say what you will about her, but she can be delightful in a rom-com. But greasy Butler as a romantic lead? No. Just no. Then again, I probably would not have cast Daniel Radcliffe as a lead, especially when he looks sort of pale and sickly, but whatever. I will watch this and I will enjoy this.


I’m pretty sure she’s outfitted by Anthropologie and it totally pulls themes from the Greats (When Harry Met Sally). It’s not like we haven’t already explored the theme “can men and women just be friends” a million times, but you know what? Let’s explore it again! And let’s make more Rom-Coms while we’re at it! (Actually, this is what Mindy Kaling should be doing. I want to love her show, but it’s a total swing-and-a-miss for me, so now I want her to put her energies into a Rom-Com Renaissance).

Movie 3: Because Ugly Cry

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It’s going to get messy and embarrassing. I ugly cried at the book and I never cry at books. I think I will have to go by myself and bring a box of tissues and sob.

 

Stay tuned for next week when I discuss the possibility of an asymmetrical hair cut (I don’t mean to alarm my hairdresser, but I’m thinking about this a lot lately).

 

p.s. you know what? I really, really love movie trailers. I may love them more than actual movies. Is this weird?

Fashionable People, Questionable Things.